Being The Mom Part 1

About once a year I go onto Amazon.com and buy cheap books. Every year I add a few more to my collection and usually get a few Christmas gifts ordered while I'm in there. Last year I bought a book entitled Being The Mom, by Emily Watts. The author was recommended to me by my sister. I've decided to do this as a multiple part serious of blog entries so I can share some of her "10 Coping Strategies I Learned by Accident Because I Had Children on Purpose."

My favorite strategy, and one I really needed right now was "Accept Life as a Glorious Adventure Full of Gifts for You." My husband can attest to the fact that I do not like the unexpected. I have spent much of our married life trying to plan things out enough so I'd be mentally prepared to handle anything that might come up. Wow, no wonder I was such a mess the two years of my first child's life as they are all about the unexpected.

In this stategy Emily explains that part of being the mom is finding ways to enjoy the things you "have to" do. The laundry, housework and cooking is never going to go away but there's no reason to make if feel like such a burden. She mentioned how amazing it is that our children have enough clothes that some of them can sit in the bottom of a hamper for a week before they are missed. When things become normal to us we no longer appreciate them.

My brother-in-law was visiting with a college student from a foreign country the other day and the student was telling him how people eat crazy here. He comes from a place where good food is not plentiful and many foods are availible only during certain times of the year. Here we have fresh fruits and vegatables availible year round and we always have meat and yet, we're buying and eating junk food with little or no nutritional value.

This is from the book, "For a while I lived with the illusion that life would get easier as I got older, but it doesn't. The scenery changes, is all. If we make it successfully to the next level, we get a whole new set of problems to tackle, and we learn to be grateful for the tools we've picked up along the way that enable us to cope. And if we're smart, we recognize that there's no magical plateau that represents "winning," but that the joy is in progressing from level to level and advancing farther than we would have imagined possilbe."

She continues, "The happiest people I know are the ones who seem to approach life from a problem-solving perspective rather than a problem-resenting one ." Wow that's a pretty simple shift that makes a really big difference. I've really seen this in my husband, he's a fixer and he's really happy.

One more thought from Emily, "A story has to have conflict in order to be any good [maybe that's the way it is with our lives as well]. Joy comes not from having a pain-free life but from conquering the obstacles even when they are painful."

I told my husband the other day that the past year has been the best year of my life. Thinking back on the past year we've potty trained a three-year old, had a one-year old enter the terrible twos early, struggled with teaching Sunday School, and had a difficult divorce in the family. I think this is definetly true for me. I've found joy because I have faced hardship. In Ether 12:27 the Lord explains, "I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men..." We are here to enjoy the adventures and experiences of life and each time we grow we are taking it to the next level. The real challenge is for us to realize our need for divine help in our lives and ask for it and when we do to stand back and watch what the Lord has done with you. It is an amazing and humbling experience.