Just One Step

I can't draw to save my life and if it's not a wall I can't paint either.  My artistic skills are great as long as we're talking about piano or writing. We were sitting in church on Sunday and I was watching my 8 year old do a dot to dot.  I kept looking at it trying to figure out what the picture was and I could not figure it out.  As I sat a thought came to my mind that God works with us in our lives like a dot to dot.  He doesn't ask us to look at the picture and try to figure out what it is. He asks us to connect #1 to #2 then once we've done that he asks us to take one more step, connect #2 to #3.  He understands where we are in our progression and He guides us one step at t time and there are times when we really can't see why #539 connects to #540 as we can't see the big picture but He can, I know He can see the whole picture, I know he understands what I need to learn right now.  This knowledge does not prevent challenging days in my life, I still struggle on a regular basis.  I still have moments when I feel unequal to the task, but I have hope that in the end I will be able to see the finished picture and it will all make sense.  

The first verse of this Hymn solidifies this idea: 

 Lead, kindly Light, amid th’encircling gloom;

Lead thou me on!

The night is dark, and I am far from home;

Lead thou me on!

Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see

The distant scene—one step enough for me.

When we ask to see the distant scene, the whole picture, often times it doesn't come but we can ask what the next step is and do that. I get overwhelmed thinking about the future but I can do one thing that God asks every day.  I can keep connecting the dots in my life until the master plan is revealed.  In the end God will make something beautiful out of my scribbles because He directed each line and together we will make a masterpiece.

Another great resource to help you take just one step at a time is the book Healing After Loss:Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief by Martha Whitmore Hickman. I remember her touching on this same concept that physically walking and literally taking one step and then another helps prove to our mind and heart that we can go on. (I borrowed it from my local library.)

Read More Here:

The Road Less Traveled

Finding Light in Our Spiritually Dark Times

Stop Selling Yourself Short

Safe Spaces

Today I needed an outing. We cleaned house and packed a lunch and headed to a city park located on Puget Sound. I had felt strongly that it's time to get past the feeling that something is wrong when we go out as a family. The plan is to take day trips on Saturdays. Everyone must participate and we have to spend some time outside.

As we were driving we got to talking about the apartment where we lived when I had my first child, the job I had during that pregnancy and the library we walked to in my first three years of motherhood. Before I knew it we were talking about Matt and where he worked. We took a side trip and visited the airport where they park the planes before final delivery and they had two of the completed aircraft parked near the parking lot.

I was amazed at how interested the boys were in this airplane. I told them everything I could remember about it and pointed out the specific parts their dad helped design. I told them about the day I went to clean out his desk and how his manager said by helping design this military aircraft he literally helped make the world a better place. Their eyes lit up at that and I realized that something special was happening. Somehow in the telling of those memories and those facts they felt connected to their father.

When you lose someone close to you there are times when those memories are very painful and there are times when those memories promote healing. I remember laughing through tears during the funeral at the stories my brother-in-law told. As I have worked to understand what's happening in my heart and mind I realized that somewhere in my grief journey I let go of enough of the pain that the memories don't hurt so much and that happened by choosing to process the painful parts until only the good remained...or at least the pain was tolerable.

This process happened as I found safe places to talk through my grief; as I learned who the people were that would listen without judgement and without trying to fix my grief (it's not something you fix, it's a journey you undertake). Today I felt blessed, even if for only a short time, to be that place for my children. 

Many shy away from the subject but that doesn't help either (I know, I’ve tried). Even the avoidance of the painful subject can cause pain as you exclude the mourners and that is painful. Invite but don't pry, support but don't linger unless needed, and be patient as the individuals are embarking on a difficult journey. Create safety when you can and know they have little to give some days but they still need to be loved.

Ship Shape Faith

Have you ever wondered where the term "ship shape" came from? Quentin L. Cook learned that in Bristol Harbor the tidal range was 43 feet.  "At low tide when the water receded, the old ships would hit bottom and fall on their sides, and if the ships were not well built , they would be damaged.  In addition, everything  that was not tied down would be thrown in a chaotic fashion and ruined or spoiled." He was encouraged by mission leaders to be "shipshape and Bristol fashion." Read his full remarks here.

Having ship shape faith implies a strength that we don't always feel.  There will be times when everything we know is swept out from under us, those are the times we really need to feel the Love of Christ in our lives. When we're tipped over and all the people and things in our lives fall out of our lives because we're just so shaken.  When we question EVERYTHING, every decision we've ever made, everything we know to be true. Before reading this talk I described this as spiritually being knocked on your butt.  It's when you get hit and you didn't even see it coming, you're knocked off balance and down you go.  Those moments when we get knocked down hurt SO much.  The times of questioning are SO hard.  

What's gotten me through those times is coming back to the basics; God loves me, I am His child, Jesus Christ suffered and died for me, and He is with me every step of the way.

We had a stake relief society conference (for all women over 16 in our 8 church congregations) last week and the theme was "Live Like You Believe." The point that was driven home to me was that when we've been knocked on our butts, when we don't feel strong we need to do the things that we did when we felt our faith was strong;  we need to pray, we need to go to church, we need to seek answers in scripture and from inspired leaders. When we do these things it strengthens our faith and builds us during a time when we feel week; a time when we need strengthening most. 

These acts are important during calm times in our lives as well. Like the sailors on Bristol harbor must tie down their load even when the tide is high or when the seas are calm we are in essence tying down the important stuff even when we don't see the storms coming.  Elder Cook explains, "life is not easy, nor was it meant to be...Like the old ships in Bristol Harbor, there will be times when the tide goes out and it seems as if everything in this world keeping us afloat disappears. We may hit the bottom and even be tipped over on our sides [or knocked on our butts]. Amid such trials, I promise you that living and maintaining temple-worthy lives will hold together all that really matters." (Ensign, Nov 2015, p 42.)

That promise has brought me through SO much. There have been moments when I've had to look long and hard to see the things that REALLY matter in my life and I've had to let the other things fall out of my life but I know the things that really matter have been held together. I KNOW God loves us.

Read More Here:

Finding Light In Spiritually Dark Times

Finding Joy

Faith and Piano Lessons