It's Summer at the King house which means lots of outside time! Parks and lakes and playgrounds, Oh My! We've had some serious reflections on how we spend our time lately. Well, we've always been concerned about how we spend our leisure time and now that the kids are getting older I have become more interested in what is in their best interest. I remember when my oldest turned about nine months old and I was thrilled that I could sit him in front of "Little Einsteins" and he'd be entertained for an entire half hour. It was a little while before I started wondering how much screen time was good for my child. I found this article from the American Academy of Pediatrics that gave the guideline of media for children. You can read the article by clicking here. They recommend no TV (I interpret this to mean any time with an electronic device) for children under age 2 and for children and teens no more than 2 hours per day. Two hours a day you say, how will I keep from going crazy. I thought that too at first and would like to share some things that shaped my opinion.
My sister challenged me to a media fast about a year ago. Her challenge was to stay away from things that were meant to entertain and focus on things that really matter. I was allowed to set my own rules so I gave myself 10 minutes of facebook per day and left my cell phone home most days. I was also encouraged to limit music and books unless they were spiritually uplifting. I know, it sounds crazy and I'm so glad I did it. My immediate recourse when I'm limiting my computer time is to read a book or listen to music so it was really hard at first but I started to notice a change in my home. I noticed I wasn't really listening to my kids and most of the time it took them several times to get my attention. The saddest part of all of this is they were so aware that they weren't getting my full attention. I was, in essence, saying to them, "what I'm doing is more important than you." I was amazed at how they would jabber constantly when we were driving when I was actually listening and they were so funny. After a while I enjoyed listening to what my children were saying. It was great.
So, after having this experience I realized I was in need of having my own media time limited. I sat down with my husband and we set some limits. I didn't want to go as extreme as I had during my media fast but it was clear I needed to make some changes. We set up our router so our laptop has internet access only after 3 PM on week days (we have a desk top that's slow but I can still use it if it's something I really want to do). We also put an internet curfew of 10 PM so there is no internet after that time (I found I was staying up late on the computer and not getting enough rest and was a bear to my children the next day). I'm much more pleasant when I haven't been sucked into a screen for hours on end and my whole family benefits.
I've noticed that my kids have the same tendency to be grumpy when I turn their computer game or TV show off. We've tried several things to help this. I once had my kids earn their TV time by doing chores (at that time my oldest could earn three tokens a day and they were worth 1/2 hour of screen time). Now we have a designated TV time from 3:00-5:00 on week days but they have to straighten up the living room and put their toys away before they can have it. We have also taught our children that media is a privilege and can be lost if their behavior isn't good. Often they will fight in the morning and loose their privilege and I will give them an opportunity to earn it back by doing extra chores. Some days they choose to go outside and play instead of doing the extra chores but it was their choice.
Anyway, we've tried several things to keep our kids involved with real life. From what I've noticed they want to do what I do so the most important thing is to establish good habits myself and they will be prone to follow. I worry about a society that is addicted to media and always has their face in a screen of some kind. I honestly believe it isn't healthy and it's hurting us socially. So, you might wonder, what do you do with all that media-free time. Here's some of the things we like to do: make cookies, play with play dough, draw, read, sing, work in the yard, clean the house, visit a friend, play games (hide and seek, tag, cards, checkers, freeze tag...), build a fort, ride bikes, take walks, visit the park, go second hand shopping, canoeing, visit the library, invite a friend over, do letter worksheets, paint, and that is just the beginning.
My life has been so much better as I've worked to make media an smaller part of it. Family movie nights are a treat and there are even afternoons when I'm having a hard day that I sit with the kids and watch a movie with them during their TV time. It's also helped me to focus on what's really important. One of the strategies we've really applied to our parenting is to spend less money on our kids and more time with them. I'm hoping that the good habits we develop now will help us get through life as our children grow and it gets more complicated. I know things will change as our children grow and our methods will need to be adapted for our current situation but this is what's working right now.
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