Being Angry With God

Throughout my life I've always been taught that God was there for me, not as some omnipresent, out of reach entity but as a loving Father in Heaven who knows my triumphs, trials and everyday struggles.  I have always had a relationship with Him that models a typical parent/child relationship.  As such, I seek His counsel often and when I ask Him for something the answer will be Yes, No or Not Right Now.  As most children I would only be immediatly happy with the first answer and have spent a good deal of time angry with Him.  When I was deciding where to attend college the resonse to my first choice was no. 

 

The first time I remember distinctly being angry with God was my Sophmore year in high school.  I had a friend who was passing through a difficult time and was praying for a spiritual confirmation and was horribly discouraged and saddened that he had not recieved an answer.  I spent weeks pleading with the Lord to give him what he was asking for and then became angry and withdrawn for a time before realizing how much I needed to stay close to God.  This would not be my first experience of having a arguement (for lack of a better word) with diety.

 

When I was looking into grad school I felt strongly that I needed to serve a full-time mission for a year and a half.  I fought Him on this point for several months arguing that there was no way I could learn a foreign language and that I had nothing to offer.  Eventually I succumed and had the most trying, amazing, difficult, rewarding experience of my life (apart from raising my children).  Upon returning I met a good man who wanted to marry me and after about a month of dating felt very strongly that I was not to marry him.  I was horribly heart broken.  After college I interviewed for jobs in Houston, Albequerque, Boise and Seattle.  I got the job in Seattle (my least favorite choice) and though I hated the idea of being that far from home felt that is what I should do.  The job was not a good situation for me and I resigned after six months.  All of these experiences were difficult for me and at times I felt very angry that I was not given what I wanted.

 

Looking back, I am sure that the path I am on now is not the path I would have chosen for myself and I am so glad I listened to the impressions I felt in my heart when I searched for guidance through prayer.  I am sure that I will have many more experiences where things happen in my life and I feel I have cause to be angry with God.  My suggestion for you and for myself is to remember that just like a parent God has our best interest at heart and as parents have more life experience than their children He has more experience than us and can put us on the path that is the best for us.  So if you need to be angry with God for a bit, be angry but work to get past that anger quickly so you can get back to having His guidance in your life.

 

 "And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."   Luke 11:9