The Road Less Traveled By

I just finished watching a movie that really made me think.  Throughout the movie the main character experiences what you assume are flashbacks of her life while doing a stressful job.  In the end you learn that she was actually seeing into the future.  She saw her daughter, and the beautiful memories they would make, she also saw a terminal illness for her daughter that would eventually take her life and drive her father away. The interesting part of all this is that the movie implies that even knowing what she was going to face she still chose to fall for her husband and take that path.

Can you imagine if we lived in a world where time wasn't linear? How weird would that be? What if we could see into our future and really know the consequences of our choices and how it would impact who we would become? With a comprehensive perspective we could truly understand the impact of our today and make our tomorrows that much better...or would we put things off knowing there would be other opportunities or would we obsess about making decisions, fearful of making the wrong ones and never decide? Would we TOTALLY play it safe?

Knowing how I feel about myself and my capabilities and shortcomings I am certain I would not have chosen the path I am now walking for myself.  If someone had told me ten years ago I would have three children and marry and bury a husband in the next ten years I would have stopped dating for fear it might actually happen.  Nothing could have prepared me for the difficulties I have faced in that time; but at the same time no one could have accurately explained the moments of PURE JOY I would experience.  The most vivid memories I have are the day I married my husband, the birth of each of my children and a CA trip with my husband the year he passed. So, I guess the question is, would I give up those amazing parts in order to avoid the difficult times?  Honestly, I wouldn't give up the good stuff for anything and that is the reward of the hard days, I get to keep the good ones and not matter how bad it gets or how frustrated I feel I still have that good stuff to lean on.

In Robert Frost's well known poem "The Road Not Taken" he talks about choosing the road less traveled by.  Read the full poem here. What I find interesting about this poem is there's no obvious "right answer" when the two paths were originally evaluated and he even says after having passed down his chosen path that his passing "had worn them really about the same," so at the moment of choosing it didn't seem he was choosing the unpopular path or the easier or more difficult way but in the end he says, "I took the road less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." 

I used to want so badly to know what is coming next in my life (which wasn't helped by the interview question, "where do you see yourself in the next five/ten years") and I've been extremely impatient with the lack of direction I sometimes feel but one day as I pondered the thought came to me that if I had known ten years ago what was coming I would have been TERRIFIED; so much so that I wouldn't have made the same choices. So, I move into my next ten years with the understanding that it will be filled with challenges and joys beyond what I can now understand and hope for and trust that while this is NOT the path I would choose for myself it is what is best for me.  Good and bad the path I have chosen is the road less traveled by and I trust that choosing that path will make all the difference.

Read More Here:

Drops of Awesome

I Am Superman

A New Year

I Am Falling Apart

In high school I completely fell in love...with tennis.  We played five days a week for 2 hours during the three month season.  I was terrible for the first two years and part of a Junior Varsity team that didn't exist..they just sent us across town to practice on our own everyday and I think we got coached about twice a year. I loved being out there, even though I was TERRIBLE.  I loved the power in the swing, the bursts of speed to chase down a shot that looked unreachable and how good your body feel when you're totally exhausted from playing but it feels SO good because you had SO MUCH FUN.

I played through high school and did join the varsity team my last two years.  I enjoyed it immensely. I loved traveling, playing with all kinds of people, I loved spending time with my teammates and it was just fun.  In college I played inter murals for two years and it was fun.  I also occasionally taught others who had an interest in learning how to play. 

When I became a mother over ten years ago I gave it up and decided it wasn't a priority and assumed it would never be part of my life again.  When my oldest turned eight years old I started teaching him.  I learned that tennis is a difficult sport to learn. My two oldest have played a bit but overall aren't super interested in it but I was reminded how much I enjoy it.

I started playing at a local club last August and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! I went from playing once a week to playing three times a week and the only issue I have with it is that my body is having a hard time keeping up with it all.  My joints ache and I'm tired all the time (though that probably isn't tennis related). It is SO frustrating to see my body slowing down and possibly taking away my biggest stress relief. Apart from feeling like my body is falling apart there are days when I feel unequal to the task of caring for three busy, intelligent, spunky boys.

The seasonal depression started early this year and I've been quick tempered for a couple of months.  I'm hoping it was just from the stress of the holidays as it has improved a bit since I've been home.  I was talking to Laura Mary Gold the other day and we talked about the need to release control. She explained that, "control is illusory.  When we give up the illusion, there's only abundance of peace.  The ONLY control we have in mortality is over the decision to be, or not be, an agent of God. All other decisions are subsumed to that one." That is directly in line with the concept that the only thing that is truly ours to give is our will and when we choose to give it to God He can make so much more of us that we can do ourselves. You can check out her website for improving communication here: AiKi Training

As I was thinking about how broken my body feels right now I was reading a conference talk by Elder Eyring about peace, He talked about how "Those who do not see their weaknesses do not progress. Your awareness of your weakness is a blessing as it helps you remain humble and keeps you turning to the Savior." ("My Peace I Leave with You", Ensign, May 2017, p 16)  I want to learn to see my weakness as a blessing, as an invitation to come unto Christ and allow Him to mold me, strengthen me and help me find peace, especially in those moments when I feel I am falling apart.

Read More Here:

Highs And Lows

My Hands Are Tied

Winning The Day

For The Strength of You-2013

This month in Young Women (Sunday School for 12-18 year-old girls) we are studying family and how we can strengthen ours.  The family is so important in our lives and our society.  As we have discussed how we can make our family stronger a major part of our contribution is making ourselves strong as we can only strengthen others when we ourselves are strong.  We have been given a standard in a booklet entitled "For the Strength of Youth".  It gives guidelines for righteous living.  Access a digital copy by clicking here. 

As I youth I received great strength in my life by living by this standard.  One of the girls in my Sunday School class mentioned an article where they taught that it should be titled "For the Strength of You."  You can read the article here. This article explains that this standard applies to everyone, not just our youth.  By continuing to follow that standard we come closer to Christ and become more able to do good in our lives.  Some may say this standard is outdated or old fashioned but in my personal experience it has made my life better.

My decision to have a high moral standard especially to refrain from sexual activity before marriage has been a great blessing in my life.  My husband also lived this standard.  As the years pass I come to understand even more how special the marriage relationship is and how intimacy strengthens that relationship and was God given for that purpose along with the purpose of perpetuating the human race.

I am so grateful that I was taught a high moral standard in my life.  It has helped my avoid much heartache and has brought me much happiness.  It is truly "For the Strength of You."

Update (Jan 2018):

My husband passed three months before our 10th wedding anniversary and I am SO grateful for the special bond we shared and that we chose to live a standard that helped our home be more Christ centered and feel a safe place.  I learn more everyday how much we build strength in our lives through the little things like choosing media and music that lifts us and how important that becomes when we have to rely on the strength we have stored up to get us through the little things in our daily lives.