The Road Less Traveled By

I just finished watching a movie that really made me think.  Throughout the movie the main character experiences what you assume are flashbacks of her life while doing a stressful job.  In the end you learn that she was actually seeing into the future.  She saw her daughter, and the beautiful memories they would make, she also saw a terminal illness for her daughter that would eventually take her life and drive her father away. The interesting part of all this is that the movie implies that even knowing what she was going to face she still chose to fall for her husband and take that path.

Can you imagine if we lived in a world where time wasn't linear? How weird would that be? What if we could see into our future and really know the consequences of our choices and how it would impact who we would become? With a comprehensive perspective we could truly understand the impact of our today and make our tomorrows that much better...or would we put things off knowing there would be other opportunities or would we obsess about making decisions, fearful of making the wrong ones and never decide? Would we TOTALLY play it safe?

Knowing how I feel about myself and my capabilities and shortcomings I am certain I would not have chosen the path I am now walking for myself.  If someone had told me ten years ago I would have three children and marry and bury a husband in the next ten years I would have stopped dating for fear it might actually happen.  Nothing could have prepared me for the difficulties I have faced in that time; but at the same time no one could have accurately explained the moments of PURE JOY I would experience.  The most vivid memories I have are the day I married my husband, the birth of each of my children and a CA trip with my husband the year he passed. So, I guess the question is, would I give up those amazing parts in order to avoid the difficult times?  Honestly, I wouldn't give up the good stuff for anything and that is the reward of the hard days, I get to keep the good ones and not matter how bad it gets or how frustrated I feel I still have that good stuff to lean on.

In Robert Frost's well known poem "The Road Not Taken" he talks about choosing the road less traveled by.  Read the full poem here. What I find interesting about this poem is there's no obvious "right answer" when the two paths were originally evaluated and he even says after having passed down his chosen path that his passing "had worn them really about the same," so at the moment of choosing it didn't seem he was choosing the unpopular path or the easier or more difficult way but in the end he says, "I took the road less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." 

I used to want so badly to know what is coming next in my life (which wasn't helped by the interview question, "where do you see yourself in the next five/ten years") and I've been extremely impatient with the lack of direction I sometimes feel but one day as I pondered the thought came to me that if I had known ten years ago what was coming I would have been TERRIFIED; so much so that I wouldn't have made the same choices. So, I move into my next ten years with the understanding that it will be filled with challenges and joys beyond what I can now understand and hope for and trust that while this is NOT the path I would choose for myself it is what is best for me.  Good and bad the path I have chosen is the road less traveled by and I trust that choosing that path will make all the difference.

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Finding Joy

I was asked to give a spiritual message at a Relief Society activity (women’s group at church). They asked I base my remarks on the talk "Joy And Spiritual Survival" you can read the full talk by clicking here. I prayed to know what to share and this is what came to me.

In the Book of Mormon there is a story of a man who was preaching in Jerusalem and was told in a vison to take his family and flee into the wilderness because the people were angry with him and would kill him if he stayed.

The prophet Lehi not long after being inspired to uproot his family, leave behind his home and much of his possessions, and some extended family declared, "MEN ARE THAT THEY MIGHT HAVE JOY." We can assume by the amount of murmuring from some of his family members on their leaving and their great desire to return that they lived a comfortable life. So how was he, while living in the desert amidst uncertainty over the future of his family, able to make such a declaration?

Elder Russell M. Nelson explains that the joy Lehi felt and "the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives." So, you might ask, what is this magical focus that will allow me to be happy in the midst of hardship right now? The answer is simple, we focus on Jesus Christ as Elder Nelson explains, "He is the source of all joy."

I remember feeling such joy on my little one's second birthday. It was the first family celebration after my husband had died and I was just going through the motions, I made a cake, a friend helped me clean house and decorate, I wrapped presents and invited family over but my heart was breaking. I kept thinking, "this is so unfair, no child should have to spend their 2nd birthday without their father." Eventually anger gave way to sadness and as my heart softened and broke I pled with Heavenly Father to help me understand why something so terrible was part of the plan, His plan, for my life. Why would He give us something so wonderful and then take it away. In my mind's eye I could see the look on Matthew's face when he held each of our three children for the first time, it was pure joy. I remembered the happy tears we cried on our wedding day when we promised each other forever. He rarely cried but we both cried that day. I even pictured us together, clothed in white, at some future date, the promise of an eternity together shining in our eyes. That was the answer. We had joyful moments and we will again. 

To say I can't be happy because I am dealing with some hard things right now is just not true. Because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ I know where to turn when I need strengthening, understanding or just enough patience to try one more time. Because of His sacrifice He can offer understanding and comfort on my hard days. With Jesus Christ I can do and become more than I ever imagined possible and find joyful moments even in my darkest hours.

Elder Nelson explained how Christ set the example for us to find joy through our trials. "In order for Him to endure the most excruciating experience ever endured on earth, our Savior focused on joy!...the joy of cleansing, healing, and strengthening us;" He was thinking of you and me! "...the joy of paying for the sins of all who would repent; the joy of making it possible for you and me to return home-clean and worthy- to live with our Heavenly Parents and families." Isn't that amazing! He endured all that pain and anguish by thinking how happy we could be because of His suffering.

He further instructs, "If we look to the world and follow it's formulas for happiness, we will never know joy. The unrighteous may experience any number er of emotions and sensations, but they will never experience joy! Joy is a gift that comes from intentionally trying to live a righteous life, as taught by Jesus Christ. He taught us how to have joy. We we choose Heavenly Father to be our God and when we can feel the Savior's Atonement working in our lives, we will be filled with joy."

I know this to be true and I have seen it in my life many times. But don't take my word for it, try it for yourself. Learn about Jesus Christ and what He did and them go and follow His example. You will not be disappointed. 

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