Saturday, January 19, 2013

Turning Criticism to Confidence

In high school I had determined that life as a hermit was ideal.  I didn't hate high school but it presented enough challenges to make a life of seclusion seem a viable option.  I always had an attitude that the opinions of others didn't matter to me and especially ignored the opinions of my attention seeking peers.  I continued with this attitude through college and it worked out pretty well.
 
As a new mother I found myself constantly second guessing my decisions.  I felt so clueless and was constantly asking other people for advice.  It wasn't too long before I started seeking the approval of those whose opinions I sought.  Before long I was driving myself crazy; whenever someone would give a suggesion I would think, "oh no, I'm doing it wrong."  I stessed about this for a long time before I finally figured out the solution to my predicament.
 
I needed to change my decision making process.  When I was faced with a situation with my children I needed to stop and evaluate what the real issues were.  Then I would get suggestions from several people and maybe even read a parenting book before making making my decision.  This process helped me to make informed decisions that I could feel good about.  Also, it helped me to understand my reasoning for doing what I chose to do so when someone would offer a suggestion that sounded critical I could use that as an opportunity to explore the issue and could then be confident that I had made a decision with which I was comfortable.  It also gave me the confidence to tell my children, "This is what we do at our house." 

No comments: